The self-limiting beliefs of our society.

There is a belief system in our society that keeps telling us through the most subtle and also some quite obvious ways that we are unworthy of love and acceptance for being who we are and how we need to conform to fit the norm to be accepted, which is far from our authentic and true self. It actually leads us astray trying to find happiness through obtaining external materials and sources, which is not only unsuccessful, but also conveniently coincides with keeping our capitalistic economy afloat.

Growing up in a traditional household, this is what I learned to believe and live by most of my youth, adolescent and some of my adult years until an awakening brought these perspectives to light.

As Women, we may believe that we have to look and behave a certain way to be worthy of love, accepted, successful and then find happiness in life. As Men, we may believe that we need to have a good job, money in the bank and a nice car to be worthy of love, accepted, successful and then find happiness in life.

Sadly, none of this is a true path towards a happy and fulfilled life as external means simply do not have the capability to fulfill our soul’s deeper yearning. They just provide a temporary feeling of fulfillment, and as we continually seek more through the newest clothing trends, the latest gadgets or a newer car, we keep searching on our pursuit for happiness, and so more often than not do we use these external means to fill a void. However true happiness cannot be found in material possessions or the way we keep changing our looks, but rather can it be found within ourselves.

Commercials constantly tell women they should buy this or that beauty product that promises to do a better job than the other ones to get rid of wrinkles, minimize lines, bring out their eyes more and so on. Or if they have the money, botox and some plastic surgery will help. And dye their hair to bring out their facial features more or hide the “unsightly” grays. As well as all of these dieting plans to stay slim.

What is this telling our Men & Women? 

Because if you do none of these, your face is not pretty enough, your hair is not beautiful enough and your body is not the right shape. And so if you do not take “care” of yourself in this way, you look dull and are less worthy of love, acceptance and won’t find happiness. And if you don’t have a good job and enough money in the bank, no woman will want to be with you as you’ll be less worthy of love, acceptance and then won’t find happiness.

Easy thing to fall for isn’t it? For many generations this has been the norm, so why should it be any different? Because it is a shallow way of living and is denying ourselves the power we all possess to live our own lives authentically and instead let it be dictated by our society.

We all are, both men and women, worthy of love and acceptance exactly the way we are, without all the external factors. Letting go of this belief and learning to love and accept ourselves just the way we are will bring greater peace and joy as it gives us our power back.

With this I am not saying we should give up all of these external materials.  It can still be enjoyed of course as it is part of our human existence. But the meaning behind the “why” we are using it can be shifted into a more joyful experience through utilizing it as tools for authentic self-expression instead.

So when you put make-up on, get your hair colored or get the newest phone, who and what are you truly doing that for?