Why child-led learning?
As I shifted my perspective on life and raising children, my thoughts on our educational system also drastically changed. Even though I grew up going to public school myself and won’t deny that I had some great experiences there. I am not saying that there is something particularly wrong with the western educational system as I do believe it was created with the right intentions.
However I believe those intentions came from our collective unconsciousness. The awareness of the possibility that forcing an education diminishes the child’s own natural curiosity of the world around them, is simply not there. As well as the utilization of fear-based discipline that is not serving the child in any positive way, which is the very opposite of raising children consciously.
We started on our homeschooling turned child-led learning adventure in September of 2019, when our oldest had just finished 1st Grade. Since then I have come to learn so much about it through reading books by John Holt, John Taylor Gatto and Dayna Martin to name a few and realized how this radical approach fits incredibly well with parenting consciously and the overall much needed paradigm shift.
All children are born with the natural curiosity that provides them with the motivation to learn about the world around them. As babies, they learn to walk on their own without the means of a walker or support from a parent or caregiver. It is a natural stage of growth and also through their observation of those around them, they get curious and find motivation. The same goes for communication, a child will start talking in the ways they hear from their parents or caregivers and in the language learned at home.It just doesn’t happen at the exact same time for each child as they are individuals learning to develop these skills at their own pace.
If we observe our children, we may notice that they act like us quite often, like when we are on the phone or certain mannerisms we may have, it is all part of their play which is how they learn. They will show an interest in what a parent is doing, usually starting around the age of 2 or 3 from my own experience. Wanting to sweep the floor as they see us do, use the vacuum, help with laundry and even help pick up the toys, without us asking them. (But when we mandate they do this, it may come with resistance and possible arguments which may diminish this interest and doesn’t foster connection either).
If a parent likes to read books, has a collection of books on a shelf and/or visits a library often, this will also naturally spark the curiosity of a child. And this may eventually lead to an interest of wanting to know what the words say, which would be the foundation for them learning to read.
Our 5 year old has been showing an interest lately by asking what certain words say that she has seen in books, and now even the words on her clothing and the mail. She has been drawing pictures with letters woven into her creations. It may not have a particular meaning from our perspective, but this is her trying to make sense of the written word.
An interest of math concepts may be sparked through observing the parent using money to pay for groceries or toys for example and understanding you need a certain amount of money to be able to purchase those. Our 8 year old has been able to figure out for himself how much money he needed to be able to pay for a toy he really wanted. He also quite often tells me from the back of the car and out of seemingly nowhere some pretty big math equations that blow my mind to be honest.
However before we embarked on a child-led learning journey, none of the subjects were truly of much interest for our then 1st grader and homework was met with resistance. We have been taught this resistance to be natural, but it is not met with the understanding that this is a way our children are essentially letting us know to take a step back and trust their ability to learn what they need for themselves. Now that my husband and I are not telling our children to do math or read, it is quite obvious it did not cease to exist in their lives.
So if a child is not all day at school, it doesn’t mean they are not learning anything. Whatever they may have an interest for is something they will be learning about if given the ability to explore this interest. With a child-led learning approach, the parent or caregiver simply guides the child through providing the resources on the subject of interest to help expand the child’s knowledge, without controlling it. And this can be done simply through play, be it toys, books or games and their surroundings.
I feel that we as adults and parents are often standing in the way of our children to learn things naturally by exerting too much control over the outcomes, as we tend to have this belief that if we control an outcome, things will be fine. Our deep seated fears have such a tight grip on us, that letting go of our sense of control, gives us the perception that everything will fall apart, but what if that’s not true?
If we try to control their learning by giving them an education that may go against their innate interests and authenticity, it may cause years spend learning something they won’t retain due to a lack of interest and motivation. My own experience is a great example, I was really good at algebra in middle and high school and had frequent A’s, which sure pleased my teachers and parents, but it wasn’t an interest I wanted to explore further and I do not remember any of the complicated equations, so all the time and energy I spend studying all these mandated tests could have been used towards something I really enjoyed and thus more meaningful. The possibility of a child feeling incompetence and inadequacy due to not being able to meet the expectations of our educational system, can have a negative impact on their self esteem as well. And although special education does come with good intentions, a child will still notice they are being labeled as “different” once they get older.
If our children are given the ability to follow their hearts at a young age, that curiosity may never cease and just grow stronger over time as they truly know what they may want to pursue as it is of their own unique interest. But it doesn’t mean the focus should only be on their future. Living and enjoying that what is explored each day in the present moment is most important and should not be rushed.
Being a stay-at-home mom has offered me the ability to follow this approach for our children. However through reading several articles and blogs I found there are plenty of 2 parent and single parent families that have found ways to successfully integrate it into their lives as well.
As far as the ability of obtaining a higher education goes, I have found plenty of resources through books on this subject and through unschooling and homeschooling groups on Facebook with families that had the experience of obtaining high school diplomas through taking standardized tests through the years or keeping a portfolio(depending on your state) that keeps track of the progress a child has made, albeit in non-traditional ways.
If a decision is made to homeschool, or follow the child-led learning approach, a period of deschooling is recommended to get out of the traditional school mindset.
Something to ponder about
What if being successful is not defined by educational background, but rather the natural motivation within an individual to pursue that what is of true interest that sets one up for a happy and successful life? One that has true meaning for that individual and does not compare to how society defines the meaning of a successful life? What our conditioning and society considers to be a successful life (do good at school, get a good job, make good money), for many is rather meaningless and from my perspective possibly a big factor in the rise of depression and midlife crisis, as it is not in alignment with the individual’s unique life purpose. Why should we continue to pursue that what does not truly bring meaning and joy to our lives, even if our society tells us it is the only way?
Fee, Foundation for Economic Education – Compulsary Schooling Laws; What if we did’t have them.
Psychology Today – Is our society manufacturing depressed people?
